Hello all. I have been experiencing a lot lately in terms of uncertainty. I moved away from home to learn to grow up and stop relying so much on people. Also, I wanted to become who I was meant to be in my own space where I am not influenced by peoples’ previous perceptions of who I was. It is hard to grow when you are constantly around people who see you as static, when really we are changing every moment. These people may love you, but if you really want to become something, you must venture out eventually. It is sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy… when you know someone sees you a certain way, you may continue to act in certain ways that you aren’t okay with anymore.
So, I have recently got the opportunity to move in with my grandparents, who also live in Florida, just an hour south of Melbourne. There were reasons that made it seem like a logical thing to do right now, even though I LOVE having my own space and privacy and quiet. I can do whatever I want here basically. It is a blessing, but it can also be bad. I was so conflicted today on the idea of leaving and moving in with MORE family. I sound ungrateful. I know I am blessed to have family that cares about my life and my well-being. However though, I had some fear that it would limit my growth.
I am adopting a new perspective and seeing the opportunity in every situation. I am doing this thanks to a book I am reading, “The Obstacle Is The Way,” by Ryan Holiday. So in this situation, I get to spend more time with my grandparents and build an even better relationship with them. I also still don’t have to share a bathroom with anyone (I sometimes take long showers), and I know I will sleep well most of the time. I am also closer to a lot of areas in Florida that I love (I was always a south Florida fan). I get to explore a new area that I never got to see much of on my own as an adult because I was a kid when I visited the most often. Now I have transportation, and I have more control over how often I am there. I will get a better job and truly give my best efforts. I am trying to see all the positive and not dwell on the things I’m “losing.” It is what it is, and my judgments create my reality. So, I can make it shitty or great.
This will be a very temporary situation. I will be able to save money while still working toward my goals until another opportunity that is meant for me comes along. I have faith it will happen soon. I know my worth in the workplace when I am passionate.
It is funny how you can have a totally alien mindset compared to your family. I sometimes feel like I was just dropped here on Earth to be a weirdo and to do things people only think about. I have such an oddball mindset, but it is my truth and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else because than I wouldn’t be me. My family is very cut and dry about the way life is meant to be. I wouldn’t say my entire family, but definitely my grandparents and uncle. Our values are just in different places and that is ok. It just sucks being sensitive when people are trying to persuade you one way, but you really feel completely different. Making a living is all I hear. Money is all I hear. Sure, I would like more money, but my well-being and mental health come way before money. So does helping others help themselves. I don’t care if I never get monetarily rich in this life. I just want to spend the rest of my life working to help people experience more enjoyment in life, whether it be by training or floating or just listening.
I know must be realistic also. That is setting in. But basically, I was told to forget about what I cared about most because it wasn’t profitable. That made me feel a certain way. I just brushed it off, but it did rub me the wrong way. The past day or so I have just been questioning what family is. Like how did we end up with these people? They may care, but there is such a huge disconnect.
My parents are pretty awesome even though we still don’t see eye to eye on every little thing. They are open-minded to a certain degree, so I will take that. It wasn’t always this way. Things just get better when you have some distance from each other so you can appreciate each other more.
SO, my opportunity is to not get offended by the opinions of those around me. Instead, I can listen and see their perspective and choose to adjust mine if and when I see fit. I realize that for the time being, money is important. It may not be as big of a deal years down the road, but I do notice that I was a little too laid-back for a lot of my life until now. I always worked multiple jobs. I was not lazy, I was just not very strategic and my lack of confidence did hold me back. Yesterday I applied to jobs that intimidated me. Why? Because I want to learn and smash my obstacles. It is time. No more standing in my own way.
I am ready to smash my obstacles and succeed no matter what life throws my way. An event is an event until we attach meaning to it. This will take time and persistence and serious will, which I have. I don’t just give up and I never will. I can go through dark times, but I have tools in my arsenal to get out and not dwell. There is no time for that anymore. My life is going to keep getting better because I am committed to that.
I will let you know my progress on applying the principles of this book.
Have a good Tuesday friends 😊