Nighttime Contemplations

Good morning friends! Last night was a loud night in my mind, as I expect many of them to be considering all I have going on in my life right now. I wanted to start writing, but I had hopes that I would fall asleep. Anyway, I was left with the pain in my heart that I was able to transform into self-love at the end.

I thought a lot about love as I suppose many restless people at night do. I thought about my experiences in romantic relationships. I felt the density surrounding my heart, as if it had been deprived of oxygen for so long. I recognized the healing that I had been prolonging. 

I thought about the moments that highly resonated in my heart. There were a select few that I will never forget. I have been a loner for a lot of my life. There have been very few people I have ever let close to me. These people meant the World to me, and it is impossible for them to leave my heart as much as I would like them to at times. 

I used to view this as weakness, but now I view it as strength. I have come to understand that each person experiences their own version of reality. I am beginning to accept the fact that a moment that made time stand still for you, that sticks in your mind on a soul level may not have had the same effect on the other person. They may not remember it at all! They could have been day dreaming, thinking of food while gazing into your eyes for all you know! They probably were! 

I think becoming okay with the idea that your experiences are your own unique treasures is key in finding inner peace. Not expecting others to feel the same way about you might be where we become free. I’m not there yet. Maybe I’m just jaded right now, or maybe I’m being realistic. All I know is my heart hurts, but I also know it will heal. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

Have a great day people! 💜


4 thoughts on “Nighttime Contemplations

  1. “…each person experiences their own version of reality”. That’s very true! If you’ll understand that – it will be easier for you to communicate/create relationships with ppl. On any level. I’m not talking about long-term relationships/friendships, but even if you meet someone for one hour, or day or week..u always should remind yourself- they don’t see that moment/situation/feeling/words as you see them. We all can be in the same room but experience the crowd/sounds/all around us differently.

    Liked by 1 person

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