It is amazing how transformations come about. All it really takes is a trigger, something that makes you think or question, and feel. That is the beginning of a powerful shift if you are open and receptive. From my experience, this usually comes about from something that I feel like I may know intuitively, but strikes me on a deeper level that I can feel.When I was at my lowest with depression and anxiety, I made a decision to get on an anti-anxiety medication for a short period. I knew that this was only for a short time until I was able to manage myself again, but from my previous experience, I was aware that maybe this wasn’t the best idea for me to be getting into. After a short period of time, the medication stopped working as well and I was getting to the point where I would have to keep upping my dosage. I had found a new positive environment to work in, and I started to build up the courage to get off it. I sort of had my answer, but it really struck me when I brought it up to a co-worker I barley knew and he asked if I was still anxious. I responded with an obvious yes, and I had right then and there made my decision.
It so happened that this guy used to own the float center on Long Island that people around me kept telling me about throughout the months prior. I was willing to try anything that could possibly help me relax. I ended up needing that relaxation more than I could have imagined. The side effects of coming off the medication hit me hard. I was having memory lapses and short-term memory loss. I wasn’t even depressed as much as I felt numb to any kind of emotion.
My first time floating, my mind had no idea what to do. Though I can’t say I relaxed much that time, it sort of showed me everything that I had going on and just what I was dealing with. I suppose you have to see the shit before you can change things. Just deciding to face my own mind after deliberately running away from it for a few months was an act of courage in itself. I knew that a lot of things needed to change for me to find some kind of peace within myself.
I started reading more about consciousness and meditating regularly. This was something I had told myself I would do tomorrow for years. When you truly surrender, a lot of light can get in. Floating really helped me open myself up to a lot of positive things. It really opened my mind and showed me that my mind was nothing to fear. It got me more interested in exploring my own mind. Floating helped me see what I could work on and what I had to accept. For the first time, I was able to be attracted to what I desired without feeling a block there.
I need this experience regularly in my life. It has allowed me to access certain qualities that I possess, but had a hard time expressing. In a few months, I have grown in a lot of ways. I no longer feel that I need someone to make me more or fix me. I understand that all another person can offer you is his or her own perception of reality. I was looking to therapy to help me fix myself and to give me answers through analyzing the past. It became fact to me that I wasn’t broken and that I would find all my own answers by diving into my own consciousness. I’d almost always rather be floating than doing anything. You get a lot more done sometimes by taking the time to literally do nothing as well.
Watch the totally awesome documentary, Float Nation to learn more about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHnbKjQGhHw