This morning I saw a video on my Youtube under my recommended videos that just about summed up everything I had going on the past year or so of my life. It was a video by Victor Oddo, called “The Hermit Phase of Awakening & When to Move on. ” I knew as soon as I saw the title that I would identify with the content, but I was astonished at just how many things I would relate to.The video mentioned that we become increasingly sensitive to the energies around us. I totally related to this. I felt hyper-sensitive for quite a while.
I had a lot of ideas about what I wanted to be doing, but nothing was coming together the way I expected it to. I didn’t know what direction to go or what my next move should be. I seemed to be getting more confused the more I learned. I didn’t know my place and didn’t feel like I fit anywhere. I started to think that I had no purpose.
The hermit phase involves the desire to withdraw from society while on your inward journey. Victor said that it was common to be unemployed during this phase, and to have a difficult time sticking with things or following through with ideas. I wasn’t unemployed this time, but I definitely came closer than I would have liked. I went through jobs quickly for a time as my perspectives rapidly changed and shifted. Things became clearer than ever to me and I saw the motivations of people and companies. I noticed misinformation being spread for money. I no longer agreed with certain practices and I couldn’t stand to be a part of something I didn’t fully believe in.
Victor described how it is normal for us to drift from our circle of friends, which I did as well. I had started to re-evaluate everything in my life and my relationships were part of that. My already small circle became even smaller as I felt the energy around my relationships. If I didn’t feel good around certain people and the energy wasn’t conducive to the quality of life I wanted to live, I had to let go of them. There was some resistance to letting go, especially in cases where I had been friends with the person for a while. It definitely got lonely and it still is sometimes. I became skeptical for a while that I could find people who could really relate to me and build meaningful relationships with.
I found it funny that Victor was also a personal trainer and did the raw vegan thing as well. I strongly identified with the obsession over zen practices and the watching of hours of spiritual youtube videos every day. This was all well and good, but I wasn’t implementing the knowledge that I was getting because I wasn’t interacting with people often. You can’t practice being the person you want to be if you aren’t around people! We grow through discomfort.
Finding this video was a blessing and I believe I found Victor’s channel right when I needed it and was ready to hear this powerful message. The message that I needed was that we must transition back into the world and share who we are and what we have learned with others. To relate on a meaningful level, we have to shrink the gap that we have developed between ourselves and the rest of the world. Instead of looking for messages all around me, I think it is time for me to keep the focus inward for my guidance. Though it is scary, I do feel that it is time for me put myself back out there and share the unique perspectives that I have gained during my awakening. It is time to practice trusting that I am guided, as I was to this video. Though I have felt alone at times, it is reassuring to know that there are many people who have felt this way and have been through similar experiences. I feel more at peace not having all the answers right now.
Check out Victor’s channel on youtube: