There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going

Good morning friends! I am sure you have heard this before, but I know I still find myself thinking this way from time to time. If I notice something in myself, I know that others may experience something similar as well because we are all humans right now whether we like it or not! I think it is common nowadays for people to not always be in the moment. There are so many distractions all around us from the fast paced world that we live in, with all the technology and social media. There is always so much information coming at us ALMOST wherever we are.

I was never truly comfortable where I was. I will admit how I did certain things as almost a means to an end to get somewhere else. I did this for quite a while until I really let it sink in that we have to create from where we are. We have to work with what we have and listen to ourselves and feel what feels right for us.I believe that there are definitely things out there that help us get in touch with ourselves and expand our consciousness. However, I think that it is important to make sure we are doing these things with loving intention and not as a means to escape necessarily. We must truly be okay with where we are, and then use these methods to compliment what we are already doing. I have found that an act of faith is very different than doing something to fix something that we believe is broken within us.

I am a believer in meditation, journaling, floating, exercising, or any mindful practice that allows us to feel what is going on inside us. I am open-minded and I am not even opposed to nature’s herbs and medicines, when used responsibly. However, a lot of the time they might be used excessively. I am not judging because what works for someone at a particular time, will never be the same across the board.

My intention is just to encourage you to discover what your motivation or intention behind an action is. You can wear yourself out trying everything to fix or make yourself better. You can put yourself through some hellish experiences in hopes of diving deep into your consciousness and healing something inside of you. It took a bit of pain and some deep exploration with nature’s medicine to discover that it wasn’t necessarily delivering me sustainable healing effects. I also believed I HAD to be doing everything possible to better myself at any given time. I feel much freer and at ease being me since surrendering to what is.

By doing something to “make yourself better,” you are sending yourself the message that you are not good enough where you are. I am here to tell you that you are! You are amazing where you are right now, even if you feel stuck. You will soon find your way out of that place and you will look back and be grateful for that time. Before diving into something, remember that you have everything that you need right at this moment and in every moment going forward. Try to think of doing things to enhance what you know you already possess, even if it is deep inside.  

Have a lovely Tuesday my people 🙂


Re-shaping your current perspective, taking full responsibility 

Happy Monday lovely fellow humans! I’m sure you have heard people say how great it is that we able to think for ourselves and that we can choose our thoughts and that we have the power to shift our perspectives as we see fit whenever we want. I think it is definitely within our power to do this, but I want to state that this may not be easy for everyone to do all the time. We are all similar in certain ways, but we have all been exposed to different types of environments. There is hope for each and every one of us. Sometimes we may feel like we aren’t moving because we may not be where we think we want to be. It may seem like we have always been this way. 

I was in a super uncomfortable place last week, and it felt like I had made no progress in my life. A lovely co-worker of mine helped talk me out of that mindset. I tend to look at one area of my life and judge myself as a whole. It is easy to get stuck in your head when you don’t share with other people. My friend reminded me to look at old journals once in a while when you feel stuck. I think this is a very helpful tool that can allow us to reflect in terms of how the energy feels reading them as opposed to how you feel now. 

From my experience, sometimes we can’t change our current perspective unless a situation comes up that creates a shift in us that gives us that momentum. It can come from pain or any type of emotion. Not that I am proud of this, but the way I was shaped, I am motivated more by negative emotions. I get drive to make changes when I decide that enough is enough and that I deserve more. Believing in the unseen consistently creates beautiful things.

I had to be realistic with myself recently. I had to see what habits of mine were seriously holding me back from growing. As much as I hate admitting certain things, it is such a powerful experience to be honest and take full responsibility for the way you experience life. I was able to see certain qualities I expressed that I am not proud of in order to shed light on them so I can truly accept and eventually move beyond them. It may not happen in a day, but change is inevitable.

I recognized how I created my feeling of being stuck and alone by avoiding opening up to a lot of people. I may not consider a ton of people friends, but sometimes people surprise you with how they can relate to you. That connection and love you feel through such experiences allows you to see beyond humanity and accept more of yourself and others. It can make you feel lighter knowing that there is a lot more good out there than you previously believed. It is courageous to put yourself out there, because you then become more receptive to more perspectives. 

Have a great day 💜

Pros and cons so far

Hey guys! I’m still in the beginning of my research looking into where I will be living. I mentioned in a previous post that I was considering Florida, Arizona, Colorado and Oregon. I found it entertaining looking into these places, as every location is unique and has their perks and downsides. We can get so comfortable with a place that we forget there is a whole world out there. I know I have.New York isn’t the worst place in the world to live I’m sure. It seems to have everything. I do like that there are some nice parks and places to hike. I also like that alternative health is becoming more of a thing here. I am happy that more organic/vegan/vegetarian spots are opening up. I am not fan of the pollution and dense collective energy here. Not to categorize everyone, but for the most part, people aren’t very friendly or conscious around here. I know there are some awesome individuals scattered here and there. I know they say you get what you focus on, but it is challenging to not notice the negative when it is quite abundant. The past year I have definitely noticed a lot more positive. I will also admit that maybe I wasn’t really looking for positives before that time. I was looking for any and every reason to flee.

Now however, I am being more realistic. I am seeing the effects that living at home is having on my well-being and on my relationship with my family. I feel strongly that it is time for me to truly be independent. The universe is pushing me to make the move. If an absolutely amazing experience arises in New York in the next few weeks, I may reconsider getting my own place in New York, but we shall see!

I wanted to share what I have gathered so far, and feel free to correct me if I am inaccurate. I would love any feedback or advice. Here we go friends!!:

Arizona: (considering Phoenix, Chandler, Flagstaff, Sedona, Tempe, Scottsdale, Glendale, Tucson)

Pros: Warm weather, nice sunsets, sunlight, farming, grand canyon, not a lot of rain, no daylight savings time, vortexes, ghost towns, health conscious, people seem more laid back, more affordable living

Cons: Dust, Sandstorms, scorpions, being hot in your car, rattle snakes, monsoon season, know no one that lives there as of now

Florida: (considering Port Saint Lucie, Treasure Coast, Naples, Davie)

Pros: Warm weather, sun, nice beaches, cool wildlife, more familiar with certain areas, family and friends scattered down there, (Naples seems more health conscious, and apparently there aren’t a lot of kids there), more affordable than NY, not as congested-more lanes

Cons:  car insurance may cost more, need more insurance for hurricanes/natural disasters, hurricane season (Naples seems to have some weird laws like no neon signs, but that doesn’t affect me), not much in terms of alternative health care but growing slowly, need shaded parking

Colorado: (considering Boulder and Fort Collins)

Pros: 300 sunny days a year, not too hot in the summer, alternative health care is big, pot is legal, active city, sustainability focused, mountains, research is big, conscious area, more affordable than NY

Cons: snows a lot (may be a deal breaker), fires?

 Portland Oregon:

Pros: health conscious, sustainability focused/eco-friendly, gardening is big, very gluten-free, least religious city in U.S, lots of beards, you can have farm animals as pets, more affordable than NY, don’t pump own gas, little snow, no sales tax, fluoride-free water, wild-life, not illegal to be naked in public? (Not that I have plans of this)

Cons: rains a lot-almost 9 months out of the year (might be a deal breaker), occasional volcano eruption (I think that is kind of awesome), coyotes

 That’s all I have for now. This is just the beginning. As much as I would like to just up and leave, I have some things to consider. I know nothing is permanent, but it would be nice to end up happy wherever I go. I have lived in a bubble up until this point, and it is now time for new adventures!

Become that person

Hey my friends! So I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately on my relationships, now and past. I like to see how they have changed and in what ways they have remained relatively constant. I observe similarities in my relationships, because I believe that each is a mirror in some way. I think there are abundant ways to grow from thinking this way.

I have always been somewhat of a loner. I’ve been in very few romantic relationships in my life so far. Though I thought it was because I was so flawed and broken, I see now that it was because I had a very shaky relationship with myself. I see this now as a blessing, because it protected me from a lot of potential hurt.

A pattern of mine in the past was to seek relationships that were invalidating in some way and that could never give me what I was seeking. It was always something. It was either someone pretending to be someone they weren’t, me falling for an image that wasn’t true to who the person was, or someone being emotionally or physically unavailable. The list can go on. 

Ultimately though, this inability to truly connect was a mirror of what I had going on inside. I was so out of touch with my authentic self, so naturally it would be impossible to let myself connect deeply with another person. I like to look at my emotional state at the time that I meet someone, but this usually ends up being part of my reflection process after the heartache. 

The past year, I am happy to say that I have finally made significant progress in the types of relationships I have attracted into my life. They ended pretty naturally and peacefully. It is a positive thing, but definitely more real not having anger to hide behind. 

I learned that the highs you experience when you love someone is followed almost inevitably by equally devastating lows. Even if the person means you no harm, the feelings can take you to some dark places. I opened my heart more than I ever have these past few months and unfortunately it wasn’t sustainable. 

I look back and question if opening up was worth it. I felt moments where I deeply regretted it and as much as I felt like I might have, I can’t say that I do. I believe that as painful and lonely as it can be to be left hanging, feeling love is never something to be regretted. I’ve been in a funk, but I know that  my display of courage and acting out of self-love will repay me one day.  Making decisions that are based on being true to ourselves is the best we can do for ourselves and others. Not letting yourself invest too much in things that you  don’t believe are meant for you allows you to be more present for those who love you and in your passions. Taking responsibility is a great asset for transformation. Self-care is a privilege. Greater things lie ahead! 

Have a great weekend my friends! 💜     

Slow down with some Yin 

Hey friends! I wanted to share with you guys another practice that has greatly helped me connect with my body and heal myself physically and emotionally during times when I was struggling, and that is Yin Yoga. Yin Yoga is a type of yoga that isnt super familiar to Western culture. It is a very slow practice where poses are held for long periods of time. They are usually held from three to fives minutes.
Yin targets connective tissue. This type of yoga has many benefits, including regulating energy flow in the body, acting as a more meditative practice and maintaining flexibility at joints that often diminishes through the aging process. It helps protect and lubricate the joints as well.
Yin Yoga is a great mindfulness tool to get in touch with emotions. As poses are held for extended periods of time, you may notice emotions arise. We carry things with us that we may become unaware of over time that end up weighing us down. It is helpful to allow yourself to feel whatever comes up and breathe through them. I have actually started crying after holding particular poses on more than one occasion. Breathing through discomfort helps us develop mental strength as well.
It is amazing how slowing down can be such a challenge when we are so used to moving quickly through life. It is so necessary to incorporate practices that help us unplug and reflect. I highly recommend Yin if you struggle with anxiety or depression or if you are looking to try something new. Travis Eliot is one of my favorite Yogis and he has some free Yin yoga flows on youtube, so check him out!
Happy Friday my friends! 

Chill with your self and change your life !

It is amazing how transformations come about. All it really takes is a trigger, something that makes you think or question, and feel. That is the beginning of a powerful shift if you are open and receptive. From my experience, this usually comes about from something that I feel like I may know intuitively, but strikes me on a deeper level that I can feel.When I was at my lowest with depression and anxiety, I made a decision to get on an anti-anxiety medication for a short period. I knew that this was only for a short time until I was able to manage myself again, but from my previous experience, I was aware that maybe this wasn’t the best idea for me to be getting into. After a short period of time, the medication stopped working as well and I was getting to the point where I would have to keep upping my dosage. I had found a new positive environment to work in, and I started to build up the courage to get off it. I sort of had my answer, but it really struck me when I brought it up to a co-worker I barley knew and he asked if I was still anxious. I responded with an obvious yes, and I had right then and there made my decision.

It so happened that this guy used to own the float center on Long Island that people around me kept telling me about throughout the months prior. I was willing to try anything that could possibly help me relax. I ended up needing that relaxation more than I could have imagined. The side effects of coming off the medication hit me hard. I was having memory lapses and short-term memory loss. I wasn’t even depressed as much as I felt numb to any kind of emotion.

My first time floating, my mind had no idea what to do. Though I can’t say I relaxed much that time, it sort of showed me everything that I had going on and just what I was dealing with. I suppose you have to see the shit before you can change things. Just deciding to face my own mind after deliberately running away from it for a few months was an act of courage in itself. I knew that a lot of things needed to change for me to find some kind of peace within myself.

I started reading more about consciousness and meditating regularly. This was something I had told myself I would do tomorrow for years. When you truly surrender, a lot of light can get in. Floating really helped me open myself up to a lot of positive things. It really opened my mind and showed me that my mind was nothing to fear. It got me more interested in exploring my own mind. Floating helped me see what I could work on and what I had to accept. For the first time, I was able to be attracted to what I desired without feeling a block there.

I need this experience regularly in my life. It has allowed me to access certain qualities that I possess, but had a hard time expressing. In a few months, I have grown in a lot of ways. I no longer feel that I need someone to make me more or fix me. I understand that all another person can offer you is his or her own perception of reality. I was looking to therapy to help me fix myself and to give me answers through analyzing the past. It became fact to me that I wasn’t broken and that I would find all my own answers by diving into my own consciousness. I’d almost always rather be floating than doing anything. You get a lot more done sometimes by taking the time to literally do nothing as well. 

Watch the totally awesome documentary, Float Nation to learn more about it:

Leaving the Nest

Time is a crazy concept to wrap your head around. Though it can be considered an illusion, it is pretty fascinating when you really think about it. I find it insane how certain moments feel like they last forever while others fly by before you can fully process them. At times of great transition, I have always found it helpful to reflect. These times are an opportunity shift my perspective and solidify who I want to be in life, along with what I want to give or share with the world. There has also never been as good a time as now to practice being and doing these things. There has never been a better time to create the future I want.
These past few years have brought with them many moments that felt like forever. It also brought some I wish I can relive. I see how often I limited myself, thinking of life as one particular way. I kept myself stuck at times. There were also times where I thought I knew more than I did. I made up rigid rules about how life had to be done. I resisted change. I was never the adventurous Sagittarius that I should have been free to be. I was influenced to be quite the opposite. I never really traveled and lived in a bubble for most of my life. No wonder I felt like I was suffocating. I let fear keep me where I was because I hated change so much. I always wanted to be somewhere other than when I was, but now I see that “point” doesn’t exist. We have to create with what we have now. We can only start where we are. I see how tight I held on to things, and the damage that results from such attachments. It scares me to imagine picking up and leaving to settle down in a place that is unfamiliar to me, but it excites me at the same time. This is a new beginning for me.

 I have reached a point of almost adulthood where I feel that I am ready to start preparing to leave the nest and try living in a different state. I have been getting the nudge to get out of here and see somewhere completely new. I am still unsure of where exactly I want to go. There is so much of the country and world I have yet to see. It is time for me to trust that I will be guided where I am meant to go.  

I see all the things that I am grateful for now with the knowledge that anything can change in an instant. I can see the things that I can live without, and what I need to have around me to live happily and comfortably. I don’t have to live the same type of life as most people do.

I will miss my family and the few close friends I still have in New York, but I know I can visit and they can come visit me. I don’t know the first thing about starting over, so if anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it. I started making a pros and cons list of the areas I have been considering. So far I’m considering Florida, Arizona, Colorado and Oregon. If you love where you’re at, let me know and I will look into it. I am looking for an area that has a good amount of conscious laid back people. Warm weather is prefered, but I am keeping my options open and I have an open mind. I’m looking forward to sharing my pros and cons list in a later post as I continue to research, as it is quite amusing 😝

One Star Left 

There was one star left above you

Reminding how you survived

Despite forces tearing you apart

Light persevered 

Creativity and imagination, your best friends

Keeping you alive when you were suffocating

Forgetting how to breathe

When you felt insignificant

But your love was abundant

You gaze above into nothing and everything

The message emerges

Its time to ascend 

Returning to the world & sharing what we gained

This morning I saw a video on my Youtube under my recommended videos that just about summed up everything I had going on the past year or so of my life. It was a video by Victor Oddo, called “The Hermit Phase  of Awakening & When to Move on. ” I knew as soon as I saw the title that I would identify with the content, but I was astonished at just how many things I would relate to.The video mentioned that we become increasingly sensitive to the energies around us. I totally related to this. I felt hyper-sensitive for quite a while.

I had a lot of ideas about what I wanted to be doing, but nothing was coming together the way I expected it to. I didn’t know what direction to go or what my next move should be. I seemed to be getting more confused the more I learned. I didn’t know my place and didn’t feel like I fit anywhere. I started to think that I had no purpose.

 The hermit phase involves the desire to withdraw from society while on your inward journey. Victor said that it was common to be unemployed during this phase, and to have a difficult time sticking with things or following through with ideas. I wasn’t unemployed this time, but I definitely came closer than I would have liked. I went through jobs quickly for a time as my perspectives rapidly changed and shifted. Things became clearer than ever to me and I saw the motivations of people and companies. I noticed misinformation being spread for money. I no longer agreed with certain practices and I couldn’t stand to be a part of something I didn’t fully believe in.

Victor described how it is normal for us to drift from our circle of friends, which I did as well. I had started to re-evaluate everything in my life and my relationships were part of that. My already small circle became even smaller as I felt the energy around my relationships. If I didn’t feel good around certain people and the energy wasn’t conducive to the quality of life I wanted to live, I had to let go of them. There was some resistance to letting go, especially in cases where I had been friends with the person for a while. It definitely got lonely and it still is sometimes. I became skeptical for a while that I could find people who could really relate to me and build meaningful relationships with.

I found it funny that Victor was also a personal trainer and did the raw vegan thing as well. I strongly identified with the obsession over zen practices and the watching of hours of spiritual youtube videos every day. This was all well and good, but I wasn’t implementing the knowledge that I was getting because I wasn’t interacting with people often. You can’t practice being the person you want to be if you aren’t around people! We grow through discomfort.

Finding this video was a blessing and I believe I found Victor’s channel right when I needed it and was ready to hear this powerful message. The message that I needed was that we must transition back into the world and share who we are and what we have learned with others. To relate on a meaningful level, we have to shrink the gap that we have developed between ourselves and the rest of the world. Instead of looking for messages all around me, I think it is time for me to keep the focus inward for my guidance. Though it is scary, I do feel that it is time for me put myself back out there and share the unique perspectives that I have gained during my awakening. It is time to practice trusting that I am guided, as I was to this video. Though I have felt alone at times, it is reassuring to know that there are many people who have felt this way and have been through similar experiences. I feel more at peace not having all the answers right now.

Check out Victor’s channel on youtube:

You haven’t failed for getting sick

When we get sick or injured, we tend to blame ourselves. We may feel like we have fell short or even failed. We can feel resentment, shame and a whole variety of emotions toward ourselves when what we need most at this time are compassion and love. Stress and illness are our body’s way of telling us to slow down. There might be a lesson we are overlooking while we are busy with our daily responsibilities and many obligations. It can be nearly impossible to grasp that lesson while we are consumed with so many things.When stress acts as our motivator for doing something, it is backed up with the stress hormone cortisol. Excessive levels of cortisol in the body creates an acidic environment along with a weakened immune system. Our bodies are smart and it knows what motivates our actions. This is why it is so important for us to focus on our goals with positive and loving intention. Keeping the focus on our positive intentions will create the momentum we need to succeed. 

It is important in healing ourselves to realize that we are not broken and that there is nothing in us that NEEDS to be fixed right now. Enjoying the process is part of healing as well. It can seem nearly impossible to enjoy it, but we must try. We must accept to move beyond. I have forgotten about this aspect quite often. Feeling whole and worthy and accepting ourselves where we are is the first step toward thriving and feeling amazing. I am making it a habit upon waking up in the morning to bringing awareness to my body, connecting with my breath and acknowledge where in my body needs healing.

I accept what is going on and I am sure to put loving intention into as many of my actions as possible. If I start feeling like I HAVE to do something or something bad will happen, I bring the focus back on the benefits this action will have toward my body, health and well-being. Building healthy habits takes time, especially when you have lost sight of them for a while. Consistency is key. We have the ability to re-create ourselves and optimize the way our bodies function and age. The actions we take now will shape the quality of our future and determine the level of ease we experience throughout the aging process.